1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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