North Korea, Best Korea!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
