i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
