Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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