suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
im on a boat
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