In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
