I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
