Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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