Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
