I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
