Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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