Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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