I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
