UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
