Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
