Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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