Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He kissed a someone with a penis
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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