In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
