it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
