think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i used baking grease as lip gloss
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
