Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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