her vagine was all disorganized.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
