Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This is classic penis vs brain.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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