How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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