It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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