Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
