I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
