Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
