Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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