Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
