Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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