now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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