She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
A bitchslap is in order.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
