doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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