he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
