I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize