Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
