Old men and throwing up are my life now.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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