I want to make a zoo with you.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
