dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she told me i tasted like america
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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