I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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