i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
