I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
