Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
