I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
