Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
