part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
