i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
