Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
