He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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