your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
