That's intense
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I still have a little drunk in my system
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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