No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
