the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
