maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
