so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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