I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
