dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Randomize