You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so that wasnt chicken after all
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
