I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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