This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
