i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Randomize
