if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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