I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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