So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
