The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
