My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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