"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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