He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
