He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
