look no pants
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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